Support
Everyone responds differently to the disappearance of a loved one.
Taking care of yourself
The physical and mental impact can be just as debilitating as the emotional. Everyone will tell you to make sure you take care of yourself. That is much easier said than done when there is so much to do, but it is very important that you maintain your health. Do whatever it takes to get sleep, eat well, indulge in distractions and accept support from family and friends.
When someone you love goes missing, your body and mind may go into survival mode.
You might feel numb, panicked, overwhelmed, or completely detached. These are all normal trauma responses.
Therapeutic support
There is no right or wrong way to grieve or cope, and some will take longer than others to adjust to the situation. Missing persons grief is known as ambiguous loss, a type of loss that lacks clarity, closure, or ritual.
Ambiguous loss is considered to be one of the most traumatic types of loss and most unmanageable form of stress, and whilst there are very few mental health professionals trained in ambiguous loss, there is some support available.
Professor Sarah Wayland is an internationally renowned ambiguous loss expert and has worked with families of long-term missing people for over 20 years. She has trained a growing number of practitioners through The Missed Foundation.
We encourage you to ask your psychologist or counsellor to complete both components of the Ambiguous Loss Masterclass: Ambiguous Loss 101 and Advanced Skills Training.
Sarah is also the author of the AFP-funded guidebook for counsellors, Acknowledging the Empty Space, and in 2026 is releasing Living in the Liminal Space.
If your loved one has been missing for more than six months, you might benefit from The Hope Narratives® – a tangible therapeutic tool that helps to validate and articulate the complex thoughts and feelings of having a missing loved one, the ways in which we cope with the unending not-knowing, and ideas of hope.
The Missed Foundation hopes to one day have the funding to support a national counselling service for families of missing loved ones. While we work towards this goal, we invite you to register your interest with us. By doing so, you not only let us know about your support needs, you also help demonstrate the demand, strengthening our case to ensure this vital service becomes available.
Supporting children and young people
When someone goes missing, it’s often assumed that children are too young to understand. However, this is not the case; they knew the missing person too, and they may be experiencing similar feelings of fear, sadness, or anger. Acknowledging this can help children feel safer and more supported. We encourage open, age-appropriate conversations with children.
A helpful resource: In the Loop
This publication was created by and for young people who have experienced the disappearance of someone they love. It helps adults understand how to speak with children and teens about missingness, grief, and uncertainty.
Longer-term support
If your loved one is Australian or is missing in Australia and has been missing for more than three months, please see The Missed Foundation.
For immediate crisis support or to talk someone, call: